


The Me Only You Know

by Aki-tan (akinikko)



Series: 3 Days of Heaven... Or Hell... Who knows? [4]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: A bit of smut (blow job), Allen gets aroused from the changes caused by Kanda's blood, Allen gets virus triggered, Angst, Blood Sharing, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Kanda Yuu can feel Fear, Kanda does a blood transfer unsupervised, Relapsing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-02 07:12:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16782160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akinikko/pseuds/Aki-tan
Summary: The Virus in Allen's blood triggers again after a year of nothing, and now he is missing. Kanda goes to hunt hin down, and is pushed into a corner by Allen to do something they had been avoiding, due to all the risks that come with it.





	The Me Only You Know

It started when he notice the black vein. He knew something was up again, but ignore it. That was Allen's first mistake. It was always this way, and it didn't matter how many times Kanda would scream and shout at him, Allen would continue to make that first mistake.

Slamming the door closed to the random flat in the block of flats he had found. Honestly Allen was surprised he hadnt crashed the bike he rightfully borrowed - stole - from the safe haven. Arm wrapped around his waist as he slid down the wooden object. It will only be a matter of time now before a certain person would realise. Only a matter of time.

"I'm in so much shit... I should start digging my grave now."

* * *

Kanda paused when he reached the mess hall. It wasn't right, or was it just him. Something felt off. Turning the corner, some of the people in the hall just kind of backed out of his way as he continued to tie his hair back, before tensly sitting down opposite Lavi, and next to Tyki.

"What's wrong? I know that look." Tyki blinked at Lavi, before turning to Kanda again. "Somethings wrong."

"He looks the same as always."

"No... there's certain little details when there is something wrong."

"Like?"

"Like..." Lavi began just to take a sip of his drink and started. "When Allen does things, that's when Yuu shows a lot of expression."

As Tyki looked blankly at his partner, Kanda tensed a little and looked somewhat shocked, because is he really that readable. He thought he had a good guard up, maybe he had to start being more cautious around Lavi now.

"If Allen does something idiotic, your lips quirk into a small smile... Whereas if he was to do something potentially suicidal, you would be passive but tense, because you'd be holding back from ending Al completely."

"Wait... Speaking of the sprout..." Kanda looked around a little. "Where is the idiot...?"

"Dunno, thought he was with you?"

"No I was called to Komui's office first thing, then dragged off to sort the armory out by Lena, straight after."

"Maybe he's with Lenalee?"

"No Lena is teaching Tai Chi in the main hall," Lavi mumbled over the brim of his glass, as Kanda folded his arms on the table, and messed with his earring. "I just came from there..."

"Has he spoken to any of you lately?"

"Now that you mention it... I haven't spoken to him since Friday... Why what are you suggesting, Yuu?"

"Stop calling me that." A glare was sent towards Lavi, before Kanda just sighed. "I dunno... something isn't right."

"Told you."

"Is he at the range?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't be asking if I did."

"What's up though? You seem more cautious that usual."

"I feel like... It's like something has happened again... and I can't figure out what."

"Okay. Well, we'll check the range, you check his room. I'll also let Lena know to keep a look out."

"Whatever..."

Standing up, the Asian soon walked off, as Tyki turned to Lavi a little worried.

"Lavi... Cross did mention some small detail about the kid..."

"What?"

"That he has the tendencies to disappear..."

"Let's not assume that yet. Come we need to tell Lena and check the range."

"M'kay... whatever you want rabbit."

* * *

Allen heaved over the sink as the blood splattered the sink, the odd bits of purple making itself known, just for the albino to curl up and bite his tongue harder at the pain that rattled through his body.

_'Burning.'_

The black veins more visible over both arms and now his neck. God he hoped no one found him anytime soon. He hoped he'd be found after it had passed.

_'Tired. Just going to take a nap.'_

Stumbling carelessly out of the bathroom of the abandoned flat, he soon dropped his tired body onto the worn out ragged couch. Curling in on himself as he let out a painful sob.

"Yuu... please..."

Kanda looked at the nurse after hearing his name being called. He had lost his appetite, to worried because he had a missing sprout to find, and yet Lenalee looked equally nervous, as she paused to catch her breath and neaten herself up.

"Lavi metioned you were looking for Allen? I found out that someone took a bike a couple of days ago." She took a deep breath. "Brother did a recall... Allen didn't show up."

"I... I'm borrowing a bike. Get me my blade and meet me at the garage... I need to grab a radio, from Reever."

"Kanda! Wait... what's wrong?"

"That idiot..."

It's all Lenalee got, before Kanda stormed off towards the tech rooms. Lenalee just threw her hands up, and screamed at Kanda's retreating form.

"That doesn't tell me anything?"

* * *

《 Anything? 》

"No... but he is so dead when I find him."

《 Please refrain from killing Walker. He's one of our best snipers... Kinda need the kid. 》

"Fine... he may or may not loose a limb at the least."

《 How about just punch him and then be on your way back here? 》

"He deserves more than a fucking punch. "

《 Kanda... For heaven's sake. 》

"That idiot, I always tell him to come to me when it happens." Kanda skidded around the corner before pausing again. "Each and everytime, the prick always makes the same mistake."

《 Tell you when what happens? 》

"Doesn't fucking matter."

《Okay well... Whatever, there should be some abandonded apartments close to ya... 》

"Okay... I'll tell you if I find him."

《 Be careful okay. 》

"Whatever."

Removing himself from the bike, he soon grabbed the sword, slinging it over his shoulder and head, before dialling the raido to a lower volume, and muting his end. He wasn't going let them find out this little part of their past. Not until both Allen and himself agree on it. Staring at the building, the man just sighed tiredly and cautiously made his way into the building.

"Please be here, Allen."

Allen sat in the corner of the room, the blinds closed and there wasn't any lights, all the bulbs died ages ago by the looks of things. He heard the sound of an engine a few minutes ago, about five to be exact and instantly closed the blinds and hid in the kitchen. Now he flinched at every step that made their way up the stairs, and once they got close, Allen found himself crawling to the side and grabbing one of the knives, just to quietly make his way towards the apartment entrance. Standing near the door, plastering himself against the wall, Allen silently hissed at the pain that ran through his bones, it didn't hurt is what he told himself like a mantra in his head, because it did hurt and he was just like a kid, who would tell himself it didn't so he would forget the pain, and yet he couldn't quite hold back the whimpers.

So, as soon as the door opened, he held his ground, until the single foot made it's way over the threshhold. A three second count, like Cross had taught them, _Don't close your eyes, brat!_ He still closed them, even to this day. Allen let out a breathless laugh just to attack, the excruciating scraping sound of steel against steel filling the air, along with that all familar shout of his name.

Ever slowly he came to realise that he was on the floor, curled up in pain again. He hadn't been touched by the sword, he just couldn't hold himself up any longer. Shivers ran through him, and the strained cry that made itself known, had him being dragged into a tight embrace. A hand reached out to tightly fist the jacket, and the arm around his back and under his legs soon lifting him off the floor, over to the couch.

When Allen was set down, a pained screech of the stranger's name left him, as the person backed away. Tanned hands reached out to the white strands, before a small strained shs left him, dropping to his knees next Allen.

"You idiot. Why didn't you tell me!"

"Couldn't find you."

"When did it start?"

"Last week... arms first..." Allen looked at him, as he tightened his hold on the jacket. "I... left Saturday... morning. The pain was getting more visible... Yuu, Tyki noticed."

It was strained as the last words left him, before Kanda gritted his teeth, hopefully Tyki would be smart and not tell anyone. It was highly doubtful, but Kanda just had to have some hope a little, because they've got nowhere to go if the haven threw them out for this.

"Hey. Please look at me?" Allen shook his head. "Open, your fucking eyes, Allen."

The flinch that shot through him, instantly had Allen opening his eyes and looking towards his partner nervously. The veins and the golden eyes, everything was like a punch to the stomach, when Kanda framed his face with his hands, he could feel himself tremble, Kanda had become so protective over Allen and he had let it all happen. Allen noticed the trembles, and he could somewhat figure out what was going through the sword users head, because the sniper soon haphazardly lifted himself from where he was laying and tackled his lover.

"Not your fault. I fucked up. I should've told you."

"Al--"

Arms wrapped around Kanda, as the man held himself and Allen up, when he braced himself on one of his arms, his other wrapping around Allen.

"Eveytime. You tell me to seek you out, but I always run off. It's not your fault, both of us didn't see this coming. It's been ages since it last happened."

"Still... I should've kept an eye on you."

"Kanda... You have to go searching, it couldn't be helped."

"You were alone, for two nights... no... longer." 

Allen paused and just looked at the him. Mismatched hands now covered in those brutally obvious black veins, carefully cupped his cheeks, before the teen kissed him.

"Here now. I'm okay..."

"You're a terrible liar."

"Only to you."

Kanda sat up, setting his hands over Allen's, bringing them to his mouth. Allen rested his forehead against Kanda's, as he whimpered again in pain.

"You're freezing cold, does it burn again? Are you tired, or thirsty?"

"Everything. Just like all the other times."

"Okay. Let me lock the doors and windows. We'll stay here till the pain calms down. Its almost been a week, it never lasts longer than six days."

"Yuu..."

"It's fine, I have a radio. Reever will buzz if they need me or you."

Allen nodded and crawled onto the couch as Kanda picked up Mugen, before closing the door and locking the door, and then heading to the windows and locking them. Its not like windows were the issue, they were on the third floor and it shocked him that Allen had got to this place in the state he is in. It was just a habit that Cross had ingraved into them, because they were always on the first floor fifty percent of the time when with him.

Once he had finished that, Kanda set mugen onto the coffee table and went to steal blankets from the single bedroom. A grim scowl laced his lips as he tugged the blankets from the bed and moved to where Allen was. Slouching down, he barely even got into a comfortable laying position, before he had a lap full of a relapsing sprout. Running a hand through the white strands of the head redting against his shoulder, just to wrap the blanket around them, and shift their positions slightly.

The hands gripping his shirt and the head resting against his chest, teeth clamped over the edge of his jacket, gnawing at the leather, as the trembles of pain, rippled along the albino's body.

"Rest. I'm not going anywhere without you."

Allen nodded legs tangling with Kanda's, as he felt the back cushions of the couch press against his back, arms tightly wrapped around his shoulders. A muffled thanks left Allen as he closed his eyes, whilst Kanda stayed awake and on alert.

* * *

When he woke up, Allen felt pain. A quiet groan leaving him as he shifted on the hard surface of the floor. Sitting up, he looked around before curling up again in pain, same black veins over his arms still, but at least it didn't feel like he was burning inside as much as usual.

The door to the bathroom opened as Kanda looked at the couch nervously, before hearing the whimper and then quickly making his way to the sniper's side. Kneeling next to Allen, helping the teen up into a sitting position, moving his hands along the Brit's limbs just to check for any bad injuries, then Kanda held Allen's face in the palms of his hands, gently kissing him.

"You okay?"

"Y-yeah... just probably fell off the couch..."

"Well... good news, your eyes are normal again..."

"Bad news... Veins are still visible."

"Yeah."

"Yuu... Why can't we just do the swap?"

Kanda tightened his hold against Allen's jaw slightly before relaxing albeit. A tired sigh left him, they'd had this conversation so many times that Kanda was just tired. He was tired with having to explain the risks, and how it was extremely dangerous.

Tired of having to tell Allen there was one major risk, and a risk he didn't want to take.

"I can't loose you as well."

"But what if you don't? What if we do it in small dosages?"

"Moyashi. We are not risking it."

"Yuu. Either way... I will be one of _them_ or still be me." Allen set his hands over Kanda's and deflated a tad bit. "There can only be one of me... I can't deal with a second side to myself anymore."

"Moyashi..."

"It's too tiring. I'm tired of hiding whenever this happens."

"Allen... You... Are asking me to risk possibly killing you! I've already lost Alma and Tim to what you're asking from me!"

"If we do small dosages... there is a chance you'll still have me!"

"A slim one. I don't want to do that!"

Bzzt

《 Kanda. Got coordinates for you. Is Allen there? 》

Kanda reached for the radio, unmuting his side and just sighed before replying.

"Yeah... the idiots here. We'll head back once we've checked the area."

《Alright... be careful though, and just remember, Allen doesn't have his sniper. I'll send some back up. 》

"I will, and okay."

《 See you both when you get back home. 》

Kanda muted his side again, turning the volume down so he couldn't here Reever's muttering that he did, only really when he would sometimes catch the speak button. Turning back towards Allen he frowned as the albino curled in on himself again. Allen had shifted so he was facing sideways, as he buried his head into the couch, trembles vibrating over his body.

"Moyashi."

"Go... I'm useless right now anyway..."

Kanda didn't like that. Grabbing the Brit's arm he yanked him away from the couch, earning a pained cry from Allen, before pinning the sniper to the wooden flooring.

"Don't ever say that again!"

"It's true, and you know it! I am useless in this state, open your bloody eyes Kanda!"

Allen went to get back up, only to pinned again, plus the extra weight against his abdomen, told Allen he really wasn't getting out of this. Wrists pinned either side of his head, as the dark blue eyes held his grey gaze.

"What are you gonna do? I'm already loosing to it Kanda."

"I..."

Kanda's grip tightened around Allen's wrists, only to curse and release his partner, before standing up and walking away to the kitchen, as Allen just laid there for a moment or two. As soon as his name was called from his partner, Allen winced in pain as he struggled to get up and head to the kitchen.

"What?"

"Whoever this person was, thank him."

"Why?"

Kanda let out an irritated growl as he loked at Allen. He thought they had gotten somewhere, but those cat like eyes were back once again. Turning back to the side, he gestured for the male to lift his sleeve, and as soon as he did, Kanda wrapped the string around the top of Allen's forearm, and his hair tie twice around his wrist. 

"If this doesn't work. I will never forgive you." Kanda turned back to the side. "Close your eyes... I know you hate them."

"Yuu, what are yo-- Oh...."

Instantly golden eyes closed as the hand that wasn't prepared to take in the blood, soon gripped the counter near him to keep himself steady. Just from seeing a glimpse of the needle, Allen honestly felt like he was going to faint there and then. Kanda grabbed a swab, before dabbing it over the area of where the blackened vein showed more, once that was done he picked up the syringe and swallowed quietly.

"Ready?"

"Nhn.."

Carefully he pressed the point against Allen's arm, earning a pitiful weep from his partner, just the slot the needle in half way, and then he transferred the blood from the syringe into Allen's system. A quiet gasp came from Allen as the pale hand moved to grip Kanda's arm once the needle was removed, undoing the string and removing the hair tie, setting a small plaster over the point of entry, he then wrapped his arms around his partner.

"It's done..."

"Ghn..."

"Let's get out of this kitchen."

Allen just nodded as Kanda guided him to the sitting room, setting him down had the albino curling up against the couch. His breathing had faltered slightly and picked up it's pace, and that worried Kanda somewhat. Kneeling next to him, a hand reached out to cup his fave in his hand. 

"Al... Look at me?"

Allen looked over at him, face flustered and eyes wavering, hands instantly reached out for Kanda, as the sniper pushed him back against the couch.

"K-kan... G-get.. others..." 

"Okay."

"Feel... hot again."

"C'mere." Kanda brought him closer, as the Brit shivered against him. "Just like before... Moyashi..."

"Kuh...w-with... him..."

"Yeah... when he did a blood transferral..."

"Helped... that time..."

"Your skin stayed the same... but the rest still showed..."

"Th-think... something... change?"

"I'm hoping that it will."

* * *

It was silent for a little longer, Allen trembling still as he shifted in his spot a quiet gasp catching in his throat. Blue eyes peered at his sleeping partner, as he shifted again, this time the moan not going unnoticed. Allen gripped his shirt, as his head turned slightly Kanda's shoulder, burying his face more into it, as if to try and hide himself from what was happening, Kanda just gripped his waist tighter, as soon as he felt the brush of a slowly developing arousal against his thigh.

"Allen..."

"D-dont... say it."

"Did you--?"

"Don't!"

Kanda hummed and with great difficulty switched their places on the couch, pushing his knee further between Allen's thighs, earning a small whine from the latter.

"Y-yuu... d-don't..."

"I'm not the one who got aroused."

"C-cant... help... it.."

"Let's take care of if then, be try to be quiet."

"Nhhn."

Kanda soon kissed Allen roughly, hands tracing along his waist, just to press his thumbs roughly against the teens nipples, earning a small whimper. The grip of Allen's burgundy coloured arm soon tighten against Kanda's shirt, as he moved pressing himself against his partner's thigh, grinding against him to create more friction for his impending arousal, as his other hand just continued to tangle themselves amongst the loose black strands. 

"Keep... going..."

Kanda pulled back, just to move to the albino's neck, teeth grazing, continued to move down to Allen's chest. As soon as Kanda's tongue made contact with one side of Allen's chest, the sniper arched a little at the sudden bite over his left pec. He felt himself twitch, letting out a strained moan, on he muffled a little, as he shivered. The grazing off Kanda's teeth over his chest caused him to twitch a trembled, before Allen released a needy little whine of his name.

His whole body felt flustered as fingers soon fiddled about with the button and zipper of his jeans. Pushing himself up a bit, as Kanda lowered his trousers a little. Blue eyes glance towards Allen's as his eyes flickered between gold and grey, veins slowly turnung back to their blue selves. Something was reacting.

"F-feel... i know..."

"No more pain?"

"Nhn... It's there but... it's faint."

"Okay."

Kanda kissed his abdomen, before feeling the fingers in his hair, even though it was usually the other way around, he was going to let Allen off. Slipping his forefinger under the waist band, he soon lowered Allen's boxers, the fabric causing the silently pants and hitches in the effected ones breathing. Fingers curled around Allen's erect cock, as the warm muscles made itself known, Allen bit his lip, his eyes closing slightly as the trembles made themselves known as well.

As soon as Kanda took what he could of Allen into his mouth, you could say Allen was already a mess. The whines got a little less muffled, even with his hand covering his mouth, the arm over his waist keeping him pinned everytime he tried to thrust upwards. The heat from his mouth as Kanda continued to blow him, tongue pressed firmly against the underside of his cock, the fingers in his hair gripping tightly.

"Y-yuu, ghn... p-please m-more..."

Kanda hummed before Allen seized up a little, he was weak ans senstive all over at that possible moment, in fact most of the day. A broken moan left the sniper as he leaned over biting his lip, his other hand moved to push more hair out of his partners face.

"S-shit..."

It was a broken off gasp of Kanda's name left him, as he felt his muscles tense up, and something inside him like a coil snap when he came. The hand against his thigh and waist soon tightened as nails dug into the pale skin, Allen's hands released the dark strands tangled on his fingers, and instantly Kanda pulled back before stumbling to where Allen was soon pointing. The Brit shivered at the sudden breeze, and fixed himself into his boxers and trousers, before taming the rest of his clothes, only to have his hair pulled so he'd face Kanda. Tanned skin traced where the veins used to show, his eyes still golden, though would fade to the greyish silver colour just to come back as the illumination gold.

"It's working..."

"I know..."

"Just... be careful."

"Always am... BaKanda."

"Believe what you want, Moyashi."

Allen pulled him down for a kiss and smiled, as the radio buzzed a faint quiet voice that sounded much like Lavi was heard.

《So... Are yer coming down? We have Maria for ya, Al... 》

"Shall we go?"

"Komui's gonna kick my ass of I don't get your ass back, so yes. Lets move."

"I love you too, babe."

"Hn."

Kanda collected the radio and mugen, as Allen slowly stood up just to be safe, he didn't want to collapse again. Making his way to the door, hand instantly reaching out for Kanda's arm, making the sword user turn towards him, both pausing as Allen just glanced at him nervously. He hasn't fully recovered from his relapse, but he couldn't stay from the haven any longer, Kanda gestured for him to come closer and he did.

"I've got you 'Yashi."

"Promise?"

"Promise."


End file.
